From Difficulty Accepting Compliments to Confidence in Acknowledging Achievements

From difficulty accepting compliments or acknowledging achievements to confidence in accepting compliments and acknowledging achievements.

From an early age of about three or four years of age, I discovered that not only did I like looking at art I loved executing it. My oldest brother drew a cowboy and hung it in the bedroom. When it caught my eye, I became excited. Whenever I looked at anything in the fine arts at that age, I was oblivious to the fact that human beings were actually creating it. So, when I saw my brother’s drawing, it compelled me to try this newfound venture. I drew a picture of a superhero in one of my brother’s comic books in pencil. After I completed it, family members were fascinated and complimented me about how good I could draw, especially at such a young age.

When I became of age to attend school, I realized that their compliments were valid when I saw the drawings and paintings of other kids or students in my class. The drawings and paintings that I did were more realistic looking than theirs. At the time, I didn’t think anything of it. As I got a little older, the other students would stand around my desk to watch me draw to see me at work creating a work of art. I passed this off thinking that anyone could do it and I even used to tell the other students that. I believed that all you had to do was practice. I told them that – “if I can do it, you can do it too.”

Although, it did come to mind that my first work of art looked realistic, and I had never drawn anything before.

When I was in the second or third grade, all of the students went to art class with me included. They saw me do a work of art and contacted my parents concerning my advanced talent in art. They asked my parents if they could enroll me in an advanced art class in after school hours. My parents obliged.

As a young adult, I continued to do works of art. I heard about an art exhibit and decided to set up a booth with my artwork. There was an older woman who had a booth with artwork across from mine. She came over to visit my booth. She told me that she really admired my artwork. Then, she went on to say that she was a former art teacher who taught art for over thirty years. She stated that she had taught hundreds of students over the years. She said that she had never seen anyone who she had taught who matched the talent that I was displaying. She made a point that she can tell that I don’t recognize how good an artist I am because I didn’t treat my art like it is special. She compared the way that she displayed her art by comparison to mine. She explained that she framed her artwork and treated it as if it is important. She pointed out that mine was taped or leaned up against the platform with no special attention. In my own words, she stated that I was a better and more talented artist than she was. Yet, she treated her artwork like it was more special than mine.

I have gotten compliments on my artwork and other things as well. I have had major achievements in my life as well and I brushed them off. As I got older, I could clearly see that there was a difference in my talents in comparison to others. However, I brushed off the compliments and did not acknowledge my achievements as if being humble. The truth is, I had difficulty accepting compliments or acknowledging my achievements. I had major achievements that I never put on my desk or my walls.

That art exhibit really made think and re-evaluate accepting compliments and acknowledging my achievements. I have learned to have confidence in accepting compliments and acknowledging achievements.

I have gone from difficulty accepting compliments or acknowledging achievements to confidence in accepting compliments and acknowledging achievements.

If you have difficulty accepting compliments or acknowledging achievements, there are a few reasons that you are facing these challenges:

• Criticism or Belittling: One reason you may be facing these challenges is that you’ve been criticized or belittled for something you achieved. If this happens at an early age, especially during childhood, it can have a long-lasting impact on your self-esteem and mindset. As an adult, you may be able to bounce back from this, but the experience can still be incredibly hurtful and difficult to overcome.
• Criticized for Acknowledging Achievements: Another reason for these challenges is if you were criticized for simply acknowledging or sharing your achievements. Initially, you may have recognized the value of your accomplishments, but after being put down for acknowledging them, you might have internalized the idea that it's wrong to take pride in what you’ve done. This can lead you to hold back from expressing yourself and cause you to bottle up your emotions and experiences.
• Lack of Acknowledgment as a Child: You may also be struggling because your achievements were never properly acknowledged or celebrated as a child. If those around you didn’t recognize your efforts or offer you compliments, you might have developed the belief that your accomplishments don’t matter. This lack of validation can lead you to reject any positive recognition as an adult because you didn’t learn to appreciate the significance of praise early on.
• Belief in Downplaying Achievements: Another possibility is that you believe it’s more virtuous or humble to downplay your achievements. You may think that rejecting compliments or failing to acknowledge your successes is a path to spiritual growth or higher moral ground. However, this mindset can leave you feeling disconnected from your accomplishments and diminish your sense of self-worth.
• Dismissed Achievements: You might also struggle with these challenges because your achievements were dismissed or belittled, making you feel as though they weren't important or valuable. This can lead to not fully understanding your own worth or the impact of what you’ve done. Without this understanding, it becomes difficult to accept compliments or feel deserving of recognition.
• Lack of Support or Encouragement: Perhaps, when you were younger, you were left to navigate your own achievements without much guidance or support. If you didn’t have someone encouraging you or pushing you toward success, you may feel frustrated by missed opportunities or wonder what could have been if you had had more support early on in your life.
• Comparison to Others: Additionally, you may have been overshadowed by someone else, like a sibling or family member, who received more attention or praise. This constant comparison could have left you feeling insignificant, leading you to dismiss the value of your own accomplishments and fail to accept compliments or recognition.
• Fear of Boasting: Another possibility is that you were taught not to think too highly of yourself. If you were raised with the belief that acknowledging your achievements is boastful or arrogant, you might reject compliments, thinking they will make you appear self-centered or “snooty.” This can lead to a deep-rooted fear of seeming like you're bragging or considering yourself better than others.
• Invalidating Self-Praise: Furthermore, you might have been conditioned to believe that self-praise or praise from others somehow invalidates the worth of your achievements. You may think that accepting praise diminishes the value of the recognition itself, making you feel undeserving of it.
• Dismissal of Childhood Achievements: Another reason could be that, as a child, you were naturally excited to share your achievements, but if those moments were dismissed or shunned, you might have developed a complex around it. Over time, you may have lost the spark that comes with sharing accomplishments and may now struggle to accept compliments or celebrate achievements, even the small victories.

Common Responses to Compliments and Achievements

• Ignore the Compliment: Many people facing these challenges try to resolve them by ignoring their true feelings when someone compliments them. Instead of embracing the recognition, they push down the emotions that arise, not allowing themselves to feel the joy or pride that should come from having their hard work acknowledged.
• Downplay the Compliment: Others attempt to downplay or belittle the compliment, talking down their achievement or brushing it off as no big deal. They diminish the praise, either by acting indifferent or by insisting there’s nothing special about what they’ve done.
• Lashing Out: In some cases, people lash out at others, especially those they feel are responsible for their perceived shortcomings or underachievement. They blame others for their struggles, hoping that externalizing the problem will somehow make it easier to cope with their lack of self-recognition.

Therapy and Mindset Transformation

Traditional therapy is another avenue many people turn to for help. While therapy can be beneficial, it often takes time because it relies on you identifying the problem and guiding the sessions. While you might have an idea of what’s troubling you, the underlying causes of your challenges may take a long time to uncover. Without the guidance of a trained therapist who can dig deeper, it could take years to reach a breakthrough.

When I tell you this, I speak from experience. I have had therapy. My therapist would start the session by asking me what I want to talk about. They left it up to me. I had booked an hour session. I picked something to discuss and that discussion probably lasted ten minutes. I had fifty minutes left in my session. I really didn’t know what else to talk about. I didn’t realize that it worked like that. It was a struggle for me to get through the hour because I am not necessarily what you call a big talker. I could tell that the session was uncomfortable for my therapist as well.

However, none of these methods truly resolve the underlying challenges. To overcome this, the key lies in transforming your mindset. By learning to accept compliments, appreciate your achievements, and recognize your self-worth, you can begin to embrace your accomplishments and move toward a more fulfilling and empowered life.

Confidence in Accepting Compliments and Acknowledging Achievements

This person recognizes their accomplishments, feels comfortable accepting praise, and takes pride in their achievements without downplaying or dismissing them. They have a healthy level of self-assurance and can appreciate their worth and the value they bring, both to themselves and others.

How I Can Help: Mindset Mastery & Transformation (The Total Wellness Transformation)

1. Step-by-Step Coaching

• Mind, Body, and Soul Search: Discover the root cause of your challenges, including difficulty accepting compliments and acknowledging achievements, with a comprehensive analysis that delves into your inner self.
• Mindset Transformation Blueprint: Receive a personalized roadmap that outlines the key areas to focus on in order to overcome your obstacles, including self-doubt and lack of recognition for your own talents.
• New Perspective Guide: Unleash your true potential by unlocking a fresh, empowering perspective on who you are and how to see your accomplishments in a positive light.
• The 5 Principles of Happiness: Learn the core principles that promote lasting happiness and well-being, which will help you feel confident in accepting compliments and taking pride in your achievements.
• Effective Coping Strategies: Master techniques that keep you calm and centered, helping you navigate life's challenges with greater ease and confidence in your abilities.

2. Ongoing Support

• Receive personalized help, feedback, and answers to your questions beyond live sessions, ensuring you stay on track in building confidence in accepting praise and acknowledging your achievements.

3. Comprehensive Help for Stress, Anxiety, and Depression

• No matter the nature of your stress, anxiety, or depression, this coaching system is fully customizable to address your unique needs and challenges, including self-doubt and difficulty accepting praise.

4. Boosted Confidence

• Feel calm, confident, and in control, bringing a sense of excitement and joy back into your life as you embrace new possibilities and begin to acknowledge and appreciate your achievements.